Fifty Shades of Waste

And still counting. Welcome to the EMR Library!

As hospitals worldwide are ramping up on the Lean track, Toyota style, I thought I’d gather a reader’s digest of Waste at its very best. Who knows, that might work towards triggering more product recalls (and refunds) from EMR vendors.

The good news with waste is that it’s creative, extremely creative. And just like a villain in a good thriller, it always shows up where you least expect it. So if I was to reorganize the shelves of the hospital library downstairs, I would supply the following classics as each of them, I'm afraid, has a story to tell about the EMR, waste, and all of the above.

TITLE	ABSTRACT
Three men on a sinking boat	It’s more than that, actually.
Nineteen eighty-four bugs	And still counting.
There might be blood	If you don’t fix half of those bugs by Xmas.
Journey to the End of the Blight	If you want your hospital to decay, let the EMR be your guide.
Wuthering Eights	As in the millions you just sent down the drain.
It’s a wonderful lie	I know, it’s not a book, it’s a movie. But the EMR stars in it.
Indecent proposal	Would you spend millions to sleep with an EMR vendor the Government has chosen for you beforehand?
Jacques the Fatalist	He’s not the only one.
King Clear	Forgot to rule the EMR interface.
The Death of Ivan Ilyich	Could have been avoided if the EMR had not lost his lab results.
The Bored Ultimatum	That’s the EMR training time threshold after which physicians and nurses may explode.
Desperately seeking value	And still looking.
Brave new ward	This is the story of a doctor who’d rather be exiled on an island and treated like a savage than using crap technology.
One hundred years of solitude	Is what happens when you call the vendor’s helpdesk for a bug fix.
Much ado about nothing	Is what you’re told when you dare complaining about the on-hold music.
Pride and Prejudice	Just remove the pride part.
The quiet American doctor	Is losing his legendary cool.
In search of lost time	Yep. That’s all we ask for.
The wind of the pillows	Haven’t felt that one for a while.
The trial	Sounds like a realistic ending.

Note: this list has been compiled by a bunch of pissed off physicians over a couple of lunch breaks. They welcome more book suggestions to further enrich their little library!